right

your tirade has gone long enough, right wingers. are you going to try and claim that the birth certificate is fake now? get over yourselves and get to work. you know, to try and take over the country.

will dance for books

dear jonathan safran foer,
i'd looove to read your book, tree of codes, but i am, how do you say, ah yes..poor. please send me a copy with a spray of your cologne in the jacket if you so desire.

sincerely,
brokeinnewyork

shoo fly

flies in brooklyn are more intelligent than they are in san francisco. here, they fly into my room, circle it a of couple times, and then they exit the same way they came in. there, they'll fly into my room, circle 20 times and then fly into the window, hitting it several times before they find the opening. and that's IF they even find it. what are you feeding your flies, new yorkers? cause children on the west coast could use some of it.

clerical errors

can land you in a cell for 24 hours.

nyc criminal court:
.slangers
.public urinators
.crying mothers
.transexual prostitutes
.trespassers
.turnstile hoppers
.sexual assaulters
.crying baby mamas
.crack addicts
.a sweet, friendly boy arrested due to shotty paperwork.*



*The Man needs to regulate: quit wasting time and money on ridiculous so-called "crimes" and get to the real shit going on out there.

boy in my bed

i took a boy home tonight. he's cute, intelligent, and charming. oh and gay.

doing hard time

dear nypd,
please take care of my friend. he is a sensitive boy and wouldn't hurt a fly. i'm pretty sure you arrested him tonight because the city/country is in debt. sorry that the state of the economy is fucked and that you have to waste everyone's time by keeping a non-violent offender in jail overnight. i was planning on getting drunk, but i'm in bed now. thanks for nothing.

anna maria

dear anna maria,
i'd like to eat you once again, cause you taste soo good. baby, your flavors make my mouth water every time i think of you. i can't forget your hot, melting sauce in my mouth, leaving me wanting more. i thank whoever created you for giving me something to think about every time i lick my lips.








anna maria pizzaria
williamsburg, brooklyn.

eating meat

giving up meat is a challenge, especially coming from a culture that has a multitude of delicious carnivorous dishes. is it admirable to give it up part-time, say during the work week or the hours between 7pm and 5pm allowing it only for dinner consumption? is it cheating if you eat eggs but not red meat? it is cheating if you eat soup made with animal broth or vegetables that have touched meat, but haven't made love to them? is it terrible to eat a clam, but not cheese? the line between flesh and plant, carnivore and herbivore can be confusing sometimes.

tell me, baby jesus, why did you have to make everything taste so delicious?

stalker

is it weird to have a crush on someone you really admire?
is it weird when that someone is kind of famous?
is it weird to get anxious when you find out that the said famous crush lives near you?
is it weird to get sad when you find out that the said famous crush is married with children?
is it weird that you had been unconsciously attracted to someone that somewhat looks like the said famous crush and made out with him?








i guuuuess..

elephant and castle

the village
68 Greenwich Ave. NY, NY




eggs benedict on potato pancakes.

yum. the combination of perfectly cooked poached eggs and the savoriness of potato pancakes was mouthgasmic. the restaurant itself is cozy and cute, but not overdone. who doesn't love elephant decor?

elephantandcastle.com

new home

effinyellow is temporarily changing locations from san francisco to new york, new york!

hello pizza, abcs and 123s, delis, caribbean accents, bagels, piles of black trash bags, markets, hasidic jews, bars open til 4am even on a tuesday, soul food, bedbugs, open cellars, cabs, brick and mortar, africa, city parks, erratic april weather, dogs, school uniforms, nannies walking stylish children, $11 burritos, stairs, bumpin' music, rooftops, and sexy, long legs.