accents

i like how as SOON as i crossed the border to quebec, i picked up a strange american-californian-brooklyn-quebecois accent as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

greyhound

you are the SHIT!
fancy leather seats and wi-fi? you are a mutha-effin g.
and you have a toilet? damn, sign me up.

funny shit sean says. [he's kiiiindda my hero]

"I've been meaning to visit your city for a while. Let me know when's a good time to visit, you can be my tour guide. [wink] [smirk] [finger pistols] [tongue stick out] [betty boop pose] [flirty backwards leg kick] [blown kiss] [frantic waving] [makes a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and offers you one] [does jumping jacks while checking pulse] [has a deep conversation with a random stranger at a cafe about a book they're reading] [helps elderly woman across the street] [silent pause by a babbling brook] [eats cereal in the morning and spits out milk from mouth when checking time and realizes late for work] [wink] [smirk] [finger pistol] [blows smoke from finger pistol] Done.... So when's a good time?"

real fake weather

dear manhattan,
i know you're pretty hot right now and you think that turning the AC up will solve the problem (it usually does), but i'd like to refute that idea at the moment. can you please consolidate your weather? it's 81 degrees outside and like, 60 degrees in the cafe i'm sitting in, making me chronically dissatisfied with my body temperature. i'd normally be thrilled and wouldn't normally be complaining, but today i am. make me happy, please! i'm either going to freeze or leave you. and i don't want to break your heart. again.

sincerely,
effinyellow.

boo you, G

Dear G train,
I hate you on the weekends. You're always terribly erratic and are never there when I need you. You really irritated me today and I really wanted to punch you, but I couldn't cause, well, you didn't come.

Sincerely,
Commuter