a sense of humor is sexy

"1 full mattress with boxspring (russian hill)

I've placed a blue full size firm and comfortable mattress on Jones between Pacific & Jackson. It's from a smoke free, pet free home. The only concern you may have is the coffee stains but trust me it's perfect otherwise.

There is a white mattress that is set next to them. Don't take this one unless you like the smell of smoke reeking your apt, Besides the tenant that had it left her big booty imprint on it. Again unless you like sleeping hammock style on a mattress don't take this one. Big Booties are ok with me. But not necessary. Anyway I'm single & strikingly handsome."

are you?... cause a sense of humor + handsomeness= deadly combination. throw in a love of books, art and adventure and i'll put a ring on it.

sex and the city

the 9:40pm line:
girls night out, girls, girl and gay, gays, girls, girls, gay, gay, gay, women.


i saw a lot of ladies hooking on my street just now. just cause i wear platform shoes, doesn't mean i am one, too. my thick- rimmed glasses should be a give away.

slang

Dang, norcalers, you can't use the word "hella" enough, can you?

Convo on the corner of eddy and larkin:
"It was, like, hella long. Heeeeeeeeeella! Hella! Heeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaa! Hella long!"

There are other adjectives waiting to be used out there, babygirl.

teddy bear

mister, i have seen you walk across the street twice with your giant brown teddy bear. where are you going? and can i join you?

red flags

. "i don't take anything seriously"
. "i don't like titles"
. "i probably shouldn't tell you this..."

...

this sh*t is coconuts

cooking directions

dear box:
either your directions are incorrect or i cannot measure. i'm going to say it's you and not me.