right

your tirade has gone long enough, right wingers. are you going to try and claim that the birth certificate is fake now? get over yourselves and get to work. you know, to try and take over the country.

will dance for books

dear jonathan safran foer,
i'd looove to read your book, tree of codes, but i am, how do you say, ah yes..poor. please send me a copy with a spray of your cologne in the jacket if you so desire.

sincerely,
brokeinnewyork

shoo fly

flies in brooklyn are more intelligent than they are in san francisco. here, they fly into my room, circle it a of couple times, and then they exit the same way they came in. there, they'll fly into my room, circle 20 times and then fly into the window, hitting it several times before they find the opening. and that's IF they even find it. what are you feeding your flies, new yorkers? cause children on the west coast could use some of it.

clerical errors

can land you in a cell for 24 hours.

nyc criminal court:
.slangers
.public urinators
.crying mothers
.transexual prostitutes
.trespassers
.turnstile hoppers
.sexual assaulters
.crying baby mamas
.crack addicts
.a sweet, friendly boy arrested due to shotty paperwork.*



*The Man needs to regulate: quit wasting time and money on ridiculous so-called "crimes" and get to the real shit going on out there.

boy in my bed

i took a boy home tonight. he's cute, intelligent, and charming. oh and gay.

doing hard time

dear nypd,
please take care of my friend. he is a sensitive boy and wouldn't hurt a fly. i'm pretty sure you arrested him tonight because the city/country is in debt. sorry that the state of the economy is fucked and that you have to waste everyone's time by keeping a non-violent offender in jail overnight. i was planning on getting drunk, but i'm in bed now. thanks for nothing.

anna maria

dear anna maria,
i'd like to eat you once again, cause you taste soo good. baby, your flavors make my mouth water every time i think of you. i can't forget your hot, melting sauce in my mouth, leaving me wanting more. i thank whoever created you for giving me something to think about every time i lick my lips.








anna maria pizzaria
williamsburg, brooklyn.