bum search

went lookin for 'em, but couldn't find 'em.
weird how when you search for them, they're nowhere to be found, but when you don't care, they're everywhere!


observations of the day:
.don't talk shit; the person may just happen to walk by the exact same moment
.life can be full of those "so close, but not close enough" happenings
.good hugs are hard to come by

grateful for

.family
.boyfriend
.new friends and old
.warm roof over my head in sf
.never having a starving belly
.my health, even though my belly burns after spicy food:/
.clean water to drink
.the ability to attend college
.my wits
.my sister living close by
.milan kundera for writing the unbearable lightness of being and changing my life
.my job and fantastic friends there
.opportunities to travel
.books
.beautiful music
.cheese
.trees
.not having to pay for water
.fruit
.thrift stores
.pacific ocean
.efficient public transportation
.birth control
.outer space
.glasses
.toilet paper

To be continued...

blood

Identity is a funny thing. You're only ever what you've been told and I've found that my ethnic stats have been incorrect this whole time. And I've only just learned where my parents are from. And how do I see myself as a hybrid child? My very self identity eludes me.

mrs. parker and the vicious circle

Sharp wit and sexual intrigue. It was a fantastic film. Spanning 3 decades, dorthy parker's life unravels on the screen and we like petite voyeurs are fascinated by the wild lifestyle of the algonquin round table years set in 1920s ny, ny. Her poetry is recited aloud through the actress who looks right into our eyes and strikes us with lyrical punches.

bermuda triangle

Anyone who's ever driven on the 5 through central california knows that it's a place where one gets lost in the hypnotic road. I'm in the backseat driving through the darkness and every mile looks like the last, as well as the 20 miles before that. Isn't it such a trip to move for hours and feel like you're not going anywhere?

stay slim

read on cnn that 4 gangsters from peru were arrested for transporting human fat to be sold, probably for beauty products. this is why i mostly by natural/organic products. um, just wondering, does human fat yield better fat than animal fat? i mean, that's why "whale wars" exists, right? some japanese groups out there are whaling so they can suck the fat out and make lipstick and whatnot. whale fat seems pretty prime, but is human fat better? well, humans do eat mcdonalds... anyhow, the peruvian police are investigating 60 missing persons in possible relation to the fat ring. i'm not fat enough to kill FOR my fat so i think i'm good. i'll see you soon, peru.

fin

finished "the road." mccarthy's style, i've realized is hemingway-esque, where his language is very detail oriented in action. mccarthy, of course, is quite noir. my brother, who also read the novel, hated the ending and i think it's perhaps because it doesn't consist of a hollywood-type of "happy" EOD ending. i'd say it's hopeful, nonetheless, and dream-like in its alteration of the world.

my eyes are lonely now. i think i'll have to get to finishing something else like james baldwin's "if beale street could talk," another novel i started but have yet to finish. i'm re-energized and have a new wave of frenzy for letters and mind pictures.

the road

trying to finish cormac mccarthy's heart-warmingly morbid novel before it comes out in theatres next week. started it back in july but never finished (so many books to finish...) but since thanksgiving is coming up, i'll be going home and watching the film with my family. you should always watch EOD films with loved ones.

i'm not sure how the film will fare compared to the text since hollywood tends to butcher books that are turned into movies. the novel so far is really creepy and thrilling but is at the same time has heart-felt moments that don't render cheesiness (unlike in 2012). it does ask us philosophical questions about surviving during the post-apocolyptic world and it's implications when it involves children, the ethics of survival (pillaging and cannibalism) and agency over the right of one's life and death. fantastico!

meditating on all these questions while i lay in bed coughing my lungs up.

like a train

the cold has come. coughs, hot/chills, and unrelenting tiredness. is there a reason that people get sick during this time of year (vs other seasons)? it's curious. i don't think weather plays a part cause it's always unpredictable here.
so speaking of being sick, i fear going to the doctor to get something for my throat. how much is it going to cost me? cause i work part-time in a cafe. i can't afford to pay for american health care.

quips and quibbles of the day.
.don't ever ask me to "serve" you, cause i'm not your server, nor an underpaid-illegal-migrant worker
.coughing as an employee at a restaurant invites disgusted looks from customers
.i wiiiiiiiiiiish i could see the meteor shower that's occurring tonight at 1am a la leonid :(

reunited and it feels so good

the hookers are back on my corner!
and i must say, they have nice legs.
(wait, why do guys have such nice legs?)

plug #2

kysha hobbs art show
@ la provence on 22nd and guerrero in the mission
tues nov. 17th 7-10pm

come for art and more art

sick dreams

i don't know what it is about being sick, but you start to have really strange dreams. maybe it's the fact that you're not in rem, but in a state between asleep and awake so you're dreaming and thinking and imagining all at the same time. the manifestations are weird, but intriguing nonetheless.
well, tried to fight the cold from coming in with lotsa emergen-c and oj but alas, it still got me. the key is to keep taking in vitamin c (almost to the point of ODing), getting rest, and a giant helping of the office and/or 30 rock.
well i do declare.

i'm gonna throw up,

cause she's so gorgeous.
and she has mad style.
i'm gonna hire a detective and find out where she lives so i can steal her closet. hangers and all.

alexachung.

sleep

there really is such a thing as too much. at the threshold, i start dreaming weird dreams. today's consisted of a wild backpacking trip with a really long, steep natural water slide. i can't swim, but i enthusiastically went for it anyway and survived. what does it mean? are those dream books in the metaphysical section at borders accurate in decoding my inner desires/fears? or maybe i just really want to slide down an awesome water slide.

motivation

there really is such a thing as "senioritis." why is it that when you've created some momentum toward your goals that you start to regress? it seems to be some sort of psychological battle within oneself, something self-destructive. and many, many people possess self-destuctive qualities. i wonder if it's a product of the modern age or if there's some sort of natural force that makes people fear success, cause it would make sense that the only way to go from being up at the top is down.

irony at its best

spent 15 minutes walking around the neighborhood with sandwiches at hand to give to the homeless. to my surprise, they were all eating chinese take out. every time i spotted a potential free-sandwich-candidate, they were already chomping on noodles. as i was handing someone a sandwich, some other guy LITERALLY swooped in and gave them food at the same time i did. the homeless are well taken care of here. i can sleep a little easier tonight.

baking

pumpkin bread.

other delicious breads:
.banana
.olive
.injera
.apple cinnamon
.garlic naan
.focaccia from delancy's
.cranberry/current baguette de la boulange
.sourdough
.cheddar and garlic sourdough
.middle eastern flat bread


are amongst my favorites.


i think i'd like to eat and write. eat, write, and travel. yes, that's the dream.

kill

for these.


by chie mihara

art show

art by kysha hobbs

la provence on tues.nov. 17th from 7-10pm
mission district. 22nd and guerrero
come for paint, wine and hors d'oeuvres<3

just like everybody else

Just when you think you're unique, you find out you're not. Saw someone who does this one quirky thing I've always done. I'm not alone! Sad knowing I'm just like everybody else.

irks

.i've observed many, many girls in the bathrooms at school pull not one or two, but THREE or MORE paper towels out of the dispenser to dry their hands. do you have ogre hands, ladies? the ironic thing is that it even says "please only take one" on it. it's amazing how people don't understand that paper is made from trees. yes, there is recycled paper out there but only a fraction of institutions carry it and distribute it. don't buy/support kimberly clarke if you can help it because the paper company uses virgin trees to produce their paper products.
.the heating system at sfsu. why is it that i'm cold outside and then BLAZING hot inside of my classes?! i have to take off my sweater and still i'm not quite comfortable. no wonder i constantly fight sleep. the computer lab i'm blogging from has TWO fans going. i don't understand the heating/cooling systems of schools, because i've never had perfect temperature experiences in any of the schools i've ever been to. i once had a teacher that said it was so cold in her office that she had to have a heater inside during the summer. what the eff? is this not 2009? are we still struggling on how to conserve energy? (the answer is yes)
.butt litterers. i already hate cigarettes but i hate them more when i see people tossing them on the ground. eff, how hard is it to put it into a trash can when you're done?


yeah i'm not always perfect at being green, but shit, at least i try.

redeemed

high five to a regular who comes into my work for food. he works at B of A and took off all my fees so instead of paying $120, i payed $17 (which is what i over drafted). whoooo! hook ups are what make the world go 'round. he's sooo getting the 50% civil servant discount next time.



took myself a bubblebath last night. kindda think they're overrated. jacuzzi's are awesome but bubble baths? unnaturally hot an semi-uncomfortable. got out after 10 min and started taking some pictures. here are three of many:

halloween night

drunk bunny. paperboy. el luchador.