goodbye eleven

i always get a little melancholic on the last day of the year.
it’s a bit sad to end it, but it’s exciting to welcome the next one.
i feel as though they’re getting better and although the last two
years of my life have been the best, they’ve also been the worst
in terms of death and heartache.
but i wouldn’t trade my life for any another. i feel really grateful that i’ve
experienced the amazing things i have, met the most incredible people
in the last couple of years. they all mean so much to me.
i love my life, i love all of the good and the bad.
i love feeling it all.

goodbye 2011, you were unbelievable.

new year's eve

be sexy tonight.
get kissed. maybe even get laid.
get wild, you beautiful thing.

eff you, laguardia!

put up some effing signs,
you shouldn't be so damn hard to find!

“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.”
— Mark Twain

some things,

some people,
some scenarios,
could not have been saved.

it's one of those nights

where i want to stay up and up

so that i can write and read

and think and remember

to forget.

trying to savor every last bite of

brooklyn

of the east coast and its seasons.

its history. its paint and parks.

it's one of those nights where in my head,

even as my eyelids begin to get

heavy,

i'm fighting for kind sleep

these days

these days
after the summer has turned itself into fall
and the wind bites, even alongside the sun,
i take day sleep with the window wide open.
it does well to warm my skin and bone marrow
under blankets thickened with feathers,
when i’ve not done well with forgetting.

and these days
i walk with my hands deep inside my pockets
seeking the touch of the lining
as if they were the goosebumps
last week’s skin.

the temperature is dropping,
the sky darkens much earlier than before.
but if i wrap that hand-knitted scarf
around my neck, over and over
and over again as it was intended,
it and all of it will keep me from getting too cold.

thanksgiving

is a wonderful holiday because you can eat wonderful food
like wonderful turkey and wonderful biscuits and wonderful
pumpkin pie and wonderful sweet potatoes and wonderful
ravioli and wonderful smashed potatoes and wonderful stuffing
with wonderful people in a wonderful house in wonderful
pennsylvania.

thanksgiving is wonderful.

dear roommate,

quit with all your bitchin'

sincerely,

dear belly,

all i wanna do is treat you right
but i can't help but feed you things
that ain't good for you.
i know spicy cilantro fries turn you on,
but they'll hurt you in the end.

12th and 13th

fuck ny trains on the weekends
fuck train conductors
fuck the guggenheim doorman
fuck mixing wine and whiskey
fuck letting you share my bed






it'll be okay.

nostalgia

it’s one of those days
when i feel defeated
by yesterdays that can’t seem to stay buried
beneath memory and literature.

i tried to empty those words,
pour them down city drains
to flow in subterranean depths
but still, they rise with the tide.

so where do all the broken people go,
where do the promises
of those sweet summer hours
take long, restful sleep?

where does the end begin to end?
i’ve torn apart the alphabet,
dirtied my fingernails
trying to find some ancient relief.

still,
bubbles keep blowing and bursting
in the crisp, city air.
autumn is the season of decay after all.

yes

“I wonder why I don’t go to bed and go to sleep. But then it would be tomorrow, so I decide that no matter how tired, no matter how incoherent I am, I can skip one hour more of sleep and live.”
— Sylvia Plath

everything i wish i could say

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need you
And tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets, and ask me your questions
Oh let's go back to the start
Running in circles, coming in tails
Heads on a science apart

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart
And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start

"the scientist"

hindi zahra sings to my soul.

some amazing quotes

“My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I’m happy. I can’t figure it out. What am I doing right?”
-Charles M. Schulz

“I’m going to marry my novels and have little short stories for children.”
-Jack Kerouac

“We had everything to say to each other, but no ways to say it.”
-Jonathan Safran Foer

gratify

allineedisnigiri.tumblr.com

i just wanted to

scream:
FUCK fuck FuCk FUck fucK
this
so loud,
so fucking loud.

to call yours

mon sucre d'orge

all my dreams have finally come true!

dear ----------
how r u?
i like u. i am a muslim from india country.
i want to marry with you.
thanks

Ansari





(a message through idealist.org)

hoops

dear hula hoop lady, i love seeing you at the park. you inspire me to gyrate my hips. love, effinyellow

let me check my calendar

strange to see people make sex dates seem as natural as getting together for coffee. oh new york.

standardized tests books

i received one in the mail today and it included a little packet of smarties. i hope i am what i eat.

accents

i like how as SOON as i crossed the border to quebec, i picked up a strange american-californian-brooklyn-quebecois accent as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

greyhound

you are the SHIT!
fancy leather seats and wi-fi? you are a mutha-effin g.
and you have a toilet? damn, sign me up.

funny shit sean says. [he's kiiiindda my hero]

"I've been meaning to visit your city for a while. Let me know when's a good time to visit, you can be my tour guide. [wink] [smirk] [finger pistols] [tongue stick out] [betty boop pose] [flirty backwards leg kick] [blown kiss] [frantic waving] [makes a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and offers you one] [does jumping jacks while checking pulse] [has a deep conversation with a random stranger at a cafe about a book they're reading] [helps elderly woman across the street] [silent pause by a babbling brook] [eats cereal in the morning and spits out milk from mouth when checking time and realizes late for work] [wink] [smirk] [finger pistol] [blows smoke from finger pistol] Done.... So when's a good time?"

real fake weather

dear manhattan,
i know you're pretty hot right now and you think that turning the AC up will solve the problem (it usually does), but i'd like to refute that idea at the moment. can you please consolidate your weather? it's 81 degrees outside and like, 60 degrees in the cafe i'm sitting in, making me chronically dissatisfied with my body temperature. i'd normally be thrilled and wouldn't normally be complaining, but today i am. make me happy, please! i'm either going to freeze or leave you. and i don't want to break your heart. again.

sincerely,
effinyellow.

boo you, G

Dear G train,
I hate you on the weekends. You're always terribly erratic and are never there when I need you. You really irritated me today and I really wanted to punch you, but I couldn't cause, well, you didn't come.

Sincerely,
Commuter

in new york

I think I get duped

over semblances of intelligence

and wit in otherwise boring men.

feelin' the nyc heat

if i had balls, they'd definitely be sweaty.

wanted:

first dates are quite similar to job interviews. you put on your best suit, ask/answer qualifying questions and assess whether the candidate has the right skills and requirements to fit the position. to speed up this process, i've invented a website where you can "apply" to date someone. just send in your resume with relevant information: a bio, what your interests are, relationship experience of the last five years and your reasons for leaving. don't forget a charming cover letter.

send it to myimagination.com, cause that's where the website exists.

splash

i always wonder whether straight guys secretly cruise gay clubs so that they can dance with girls, with less chances of rejection. some gay men think they can put their hands all over you, cause they're "gay" and it's "okay."

to mysterious man that danced behind me for a minute: you could've gotten me a drink before you groped me. and please god, i hope you were gay.

breakin my heart

dear market on greene ave and cumberland st.,
why do hurt my feelings by selling me a $4 avocado? breakin the bank. and my heart.

right

your tirade has gone long enough, right wingers. are you going to try and claim that the birth certificate is fake now? get over yourselves and get to work. you know, to try and take over the country.

will dance for books

dear jonathan safran foer,
i'd looove to read your book, tree of codes, but i am, how do you say, ah yes..poor. please send me a copy with a spray of your cologne in the jacket if you so desire.

sincerely,
brokeinnewyork

shoo fly

flies in brooklyn are more intelligent than they are in san francisco. here, they fly into my room, circle it a of couple times, and then they exit the same way they came in. there, they'll fly into my room, circle 20 times and then fly into the window, hitting it several times before they find the opening. and that's IF they even find it. what are you feeding your flies, new yorkers? cause children on the west coast could use some of it.

clerical errors

can land you in a cell for 24 hours.

nyc criminal court:
.slangers
.public urinators
.crying mothers
.transexual prostitutes
.trespassers
.turnstile hoppers
.sexual assaulters
.crying baby mamas
.crack addicts
.a sweet, friendly boy arrested due to shotty paperwork.*



*The Man needs to regulate: quit wasting time and money on ridiculous so-called "crimes" and get to the real shit going on out there.

boy in my bed

i took a boy home tonight. he's cute, intelligent, and charming. oh and gay.

doing hard time

dear nypd,
please take care of my friend. he is a sensitive boy and wouldn't hurt a fly. i'm pretty sure you arrested him tonight because the city/country is in debt. sorry that the state of the economy is fucked and that you have to waste everyone's time by keeping a non-violent offender in jail overnight. i was planning on getting drunk, but i'm in bed now. thanks for nothing.

anna maria

dear anna maria,
i'd like to eat you once again, cause you taste soo good. baby, your flavors make my mouth water every time i think of you. i can't forget your hot, melting sauce in my mouth, leaving me wanting more. i thank whoever created you for giving me something to think about every time i lick my lips.








anna maria pizzaria
williamsburg, brooklyn.

eating meat

giving up meat is a challenge, especially coming from a culture that has a multitude of delicious carnivorous dishes. is it admirable to give it up part-time, say during the work week or the hours between 7pm and 5pm allowing it only for dinner consumption? is it cheating if you eat eggs but not red meat? it is cheating if you eat soup made with animal broth or vegetables that have touched meat, but haven't made love to them? is it terrible to eat a clam, but not cheese? the line between flesh and plant, carnivore and herbivore can be confusing sometimes.

tell me, baby jesus, why did you have to make everything taste so delicious?

stalker

is it weird to have a crush on someone you really admire?
is it weird when that someone is kind of famous?
is it weird to get anxious when you find out that the said famous crush lives near you?
is it weird to get sad when you find out that the said famous crush is married with children?
is it weird that you had been unconsciously attracted to someone that somewhat looks like the said famous crush and made out with him?








i guuuuess..

elephant and castle

the village
68 Greenwich Ave. NY, NY




eggs benedict on potato pancakes.

yum. the combination of perfectly cooked poached eggs and the savoriness of potato pancakes was mouthgasmic. the restaurant itself is cozy and cute, but not overdone. who doesn't love elephant decor?

elephantandcastle.com

new home

effinyellow is temporarily changing locations from san francisco to new york, new york!

hello pizza, abcs and 123s, delis, caribbean accents, bagels, piles of black trash bags, markets, hasidic jews, bars open til 4am even on a tuesday, soul food, bedbugs, open cellars, cabs, brick and mortar, africa, city parks, erratic april weather, dogs, school uniforms, nannies walking stylish children, $11 burritos, stairs, bumpin' music, rooftops, and sexy, long legs.

goodbye for now

you have my heart, san francisco.

talking to strangers

it can go either way. you could meet boring people who are lame and can't hold a decent conversation for more than two minutes at a time OR you could meet people who are engaging, funny, intelligent, informed, progressive, sweet and interesting.

to the five boys we took a pleasant walk to delores park and had great conversations with (about origins, tsunamis, hybrids, slaughtering animals, costa rica, writing names in piss, gaza, sparky's, teaching peace, cacti, hip hop surf music, grace, meat substitutes, espanol, past lives, girls at bars, familiarity, the 28, part-time living, and the tendernob), you guys are cool. and not in a bad way.






[bummed i couldn't make it to sparky's.]

hermitude

what is it about this last week that's got people up in shambles? some of us can't get out of bed before noon. the weather's going crazy and the time change has made everyone swimmingly lazy. haven't been outside outside in days. what's going on world? waiting for doomsday?

dirty

friday night dancing at skylark with your girl. five different guys (which happen to be brothas) tryin' to get up on yo shit and grabbin' yo ass. makin' you come home feelin dirty.

and not in the good way.

austin street

there's hope yet

new spots

craigslist ad:
"Queer couple and our doggie are looking for one more human housemate for our great TriBeSa* apartment.
...



*Some call this neighborhood "Duboce Triangle," some call it the "Lower Haight," we call it "TriBeSa," the Triangle Behind Safeway."






watch out nyc! sf is catching up to your ass with equally ridiculous names!**
...




**it really helps though. i know exactly where this spot is.

crack bitch

quit persisting to ask for shorts when told "no" and then proceed to reach into my homie's pocket to jack his cigarettes. i might have to dropkick you.

talk is good

keep it real and no one gets (too) hurt.

surprise!!

just when you think you know everything and there's nothing left to figure out, to sort, to think about, a surprise gets thrown in your resolved face. it's always when you least expect it. watch out, kids. one's probably coming your way and it's gonna punch you in the nostrils.

cold season

the sickness is ferociously going around town. around and around. saw a congested homeless man in the TL blow his nose into his "white" t-shirt and nurse his cold with a budweiser.

wash your hands. often.

recollections

[edited for content]

Recollections
New York City, NY.

An amazingly beautiful experience with snow and beautiful legs and wine and tall buildings and city lights. With girls, with aching feet, with skyscrapers and with subways and with decadent foodfoodfood.

San Francisco to NYC, coast to coast, the appetite prevails drunkenly, but still lucidly executed.

The Met dripped with nostalgia, with infamy, tragedy, beauty. Central Park was enveloped in death, life, whiteness. Columbus Circle ran in light of taxis, suits, cameras. Hiro drenched in vodka, sweat, hunger. Williamsburg festered fashion, pretentiousness, whole grain.

He was mad sexy, not in eyes, but in talk. Smooth skin, strong arms, Brooklyn.

NYC rich: sesame ice cream, canoli, corn gelato, chocolate fondue, apple pie, éclair, frozen hot chocolate, black sesame tofu, pistachio crème brulee, macaroons, chocolate chai, cupid mousse, milk tea.

Big Apple Pies: butternut squash, cauliflower, white, red Grimaldi’s.

Hiro had a strange vibe with hip hop and Asians. Had a strange vibe with pricey drinks and non-Asians. Had a strange vibe with circus and strip. Had a strange vibe between Girl and Boy.

Bacardi shotty + vidka and Pineapple juice= $24
2 Tiger beers= $16
2 free shots= -$20
+________________________________________
slizzerd, empty, sexy, passionate, hilarious, dirty morning in Brooklyn.

Women are high-heeled, exposing stellar legs, legs found in magazines, paper ads, envy.
Men are high-top booted, straight-legged jeans, wearing four o’clock shadows, desire.
I am satiated, hungry, up and down for whatever. Whoever. Whenever. Evers.

somisspo

really, san francisco? i know you rival new york city for silly acronyms and whatnot, but somisspo?! are you getting desperate? is this a real tri-district area or are you drawing up lines? somisspo? are you a southern gent attempting to court a lady named Po?

new year

as the year of the tiger comes to a close, one can't help but to reflect on it's ups and downs, its laughter and its tears, it's festivities and its funerals. the new year of the rabbit is full of hope to bring peace and happiness to those that have arrived, will come, and to those that have passed.


dear old man, i think of you always. gung he fat choy<3

hey good lookin'

today i learned that not all gorgeous boys are stupid idiots.

church

saw a couple of girls hooking on a corner in front of a church. wonder if they accept dirty tithes?

pollution

pollution is a terrible force against nature, but it sure makes pretty sunsets.

for reals

below are 4 blogs about things that were actually said by my dad in the last 12 hours. who knew he was funny? thought i got it from my mama.

funny shit my dad says: internet

"what is internet? WHO is internet?"

funny shit my dad says: saddle

while at the dallas museum of art...
he looks at it and says, "what the hell is this?!"

at least he ain't tryin to lie to kick it.








[ps it's a saddle made in the edo period of japan]

funny shit my dad says: fish

[looks inside his fish tank]

"the fish is upside down. i'm not a fish doctor, but i think it's dying."

funny shit my dad says: breasts

"women without breasts is a terrible thing."

[proceeds to show me exercises to firm up my chest.]

"i'm just trying to help you out."

airport

i opted out. i don’t know if the TSA lady got more turned on when she patted me down or if i did.

who buys porn at the airport and where would you blow you know what?

i kindda really hate myself for paying $2.79 for a bottle of water. damn you for exploiting thirsty people.

mass murder

san francisco, california. at 6:45am, these trees were found murdered and left on the corner of green and franklin near sherman elementary. their leaves were mangled and limbs were chopped off with precision. what's even more disturbing is that sights like these have become quite common along the streets of the city. trees have been killed and left on sidewalks like garbage waiting to be picked up. we have been unable to reach the police for a comment.