wanted:

first dates are quite similar to job interviews. you put on your best suit, ask/answer qualifying questions and assess whether the candidate has the right skills and requirements to fit the position. to speed up this process, i've invented a website where you can "apply" to date someone. just send in your resume with relevant information: a bio, what your interests are, relationship experience of the last five years and your reasons for leaving. don't forget a charming cover letter.

send it to myimagination.com, cause that's where the website exists.