bum search

went lookin for 'em, but couldn't find 'em.
weird how when you search for them, they're nowhere to be found, but when you don't care, they're everywhere!


observations of the day:
.don't talk shit; the person may just happen to walk by the exact same moment
.life can be full of those "so close, but not close enough" happenings
.good hugs are hard to come by

grateful for

.family
.boyfriend
.new friends and old
.warm roof over my head in sf
.never having a starving belly
.my health, even though my belly burns after spicy food:/
.clean water to drink
.the ability to attend college
.my wits
.my sister living close by
.milan kundera for writing the unbearable lightness of being and changing my life
.my job and fantastic friends there
.opportunities to travel
.books
.beautiful music
.cheese
.trees
.not having to pay for water
.fruit
.thrift stores
.pacific ocean
.efficient public transportation
.birth control
.outer space
.glasses
.toilet paper

To be continued...

blood

Identity is a funny thing. You're only ever what you've been told and I've found that my ethnic stats have been incorrect this whole time. And I've only just learned where my parents are from. And how do I see myself as a hybrid child? My very self identity eludes me.

mrs. parker and the vicious circle

Sharp wit and sexual intrigue. It was a fantastic film. Spanning 3 decades, dorthy parker's life unravels on the screen and we like petite voyeurs are fascinated by the wild lifestyle of the algonquin round table years set in 1920s ny, ny. Her poetry is recited aloud through the actress who looks right into our eyes and strikes us with lyrical punches.

bermuda triangle

Anyone who's ever driven on the 5 through central california knows that it's a place where one gets lost in the hypnotic road. I'm in the backseat driving through the darkness and every mile looks like the last, as well as the 20 miles before that. Isn't it such a trip to move for hours and feel like you're not going anywhere?

stay slim

read on cnn that 4 gangsters from peru were arrested for transporting human fat to be sold, probably for beauty products. this is why i mostly by natural/organic products. um, just wondering, does human fat yield better fat than animal fat? i mean, that's why "whale wars" exists, right? some japanese groups out there are whaling so they can suck the fat out and make lipstick and whatnot. whale fat seems pretty prime, but is human fat better? well, humans do eat mcdonalds... anyhow, the peruvian police are investigating 60 missing persons in possible relation to the fat ring. i'm not fat enough to kill FOR my fat so i think i'm good. i'll see you soon, peru.

fin

finished "the road." mccarthy's style, i've realized is hemingway-esque, where his language is very detail oriented in action. mccarthy, of course, is quite noir. my brother, who also read the novel, hated the ending and i think it's perhaps because it doesn't consist of a hollywood-type of "happy" EOD ending. i'd say it's hopeful, nonetheless, and dream-like in its alteration of the world.

my eyes are lonely now. i think i'll have to get to finishing something else like james baldwin's "if beale street could talk," another novel i started but have yet to finish. i'm re-energized and have a new wave of frenzy for letters and mind pictures.